Hi there, me again.
You know when you get news but it just feels you with dread? That’s social anxiety for you.
I’ve got papers on dementia and dance interventions to my left, with my philosophy lecture notes under that, and make up, perfume, a notebook, a to-do list or three and highlighter pens spread out over the rest of my desk. My desk isn’t even that big. Reflects my cluttered mind perfectly though. I have a potential university and supervisor. Now I just need a cracking research idea by next Thursday. *Gulp* Feeling particularly paralysed.
Funnily enough though, at the weekend, I was the complete opposite. I was visiting family in the Lake District and halfway up a hill-mountain in Grasmere when I had this quite hilarious thought, “I am sure I am supposed to feel stressed about something.” I racked my brains for a while and nothing came. “Hmm, are you sure, brain? There isn’t anything?” Nope. Very strange. Haven’t felt that in-the-moment peacefulness for a long time, I realised.
So where do I go from here? I definitely need some more organisation over here but my brain feels foggy. Maybe I just need to relax a tad more, ha. And then the thoughts will come…